The stage of The Miller glistens with a fine sheen of sweat. A weary traveller leans down, touches the moisture and rubs it between his fingers pensively.

“Giggle Loop were here and not long ago. It’s still warm. They’re always one step ahead.”

And with that he disappeared into the night, wondering if he’d made the last paragraph sound overly euphemistic.

So yeah, we totally did a show. The Pina Colliders showcased how ambiguous the phrase “I want a pony for my birthday,” can be, Shoes and Socks explored everything from creepy first dates to alcoholic toddlers, All Made Up were really excited to have finished their tax returns and then Giggle Loop did some unspeakable things to a chicken.

Don’t believe us? Look, there are photos.